Let’s Take the Limo to Target

So, quick life update: even through all my slacking, I managed to get my final paper of the semester finished and turned in at about a quarter before midnight last night. It seemed that the more I wanted to focus, the more things distracted me. And when I was actually focused, I got a call, a text, or there was a Hanukkah party. Oh, and happy Hanukkah, everyone.

But I got it done, and to reward myself, I slept in today (well…I’ve kind of been sleeping in every day since classes ended, but today I actually had no need to get out of bed) and didn’t leave the apartment until about 5 PM, at which point I went to Kohl’s to get my reward for surviving another semester and managing to get some good grades: a Keurig. The coffee maker I have is okay – it works well and it’s survived 3 moves between 2 states, but I just kinda wanted a Keurig because they’re cool and would probably prevent me from going out for coffee as much as I do, which is still not very much but I could always do less of that. Kohl’s had a Keurig Mini on sale for $99, and with coupons, Kohl’s membership, and other fun things, I managed to get that plus an extra starter pack of K-cups for a grand total of $67.46. Not ideal, but still not too bad.

After I got a bite to eat, I was on my way home and suddenly had a desire for panettone. You know, the crusty, delicious Italian fruitcake that is actually for Christmas but I have adopted it as my Hanukkah go-to food. So I go to Metcalfes, and I buy some grapes and some bread, but after perusing the store thoroughly, there is no panettone to be found.

As I sadly exit the store in defeat, get in my car, and drive away, I see in front what appears to be a gigantic black limo just cruising past the store, towards Target.

Now, who in their right mind would take a limo to Target?

First of all, the only time I’ve been in a limo involved either a funeral or an airport. It was pretty late in the day for a funeral, but could you imagine?

“Yeah, we have to get to the cemetery for Aunt Sue’s service, but it looks like it might rain and it’s graveside, so let’s hit up Target on the way and get an umbrella, and maybe some gloves.”

“Oh, and it’ll probably take forever, so let’s get some snacks…Doritos, anyone? Cool Ranch? Or maybe something quieter, like fruit snacks?”

“Oh, and we need gum, too. Definitely gum.”

“I know Aunt Sue’s dead and all, but since we’re going to Target anyway, do you think it would be okay if I picked up a Tide pen and a new iPad case? I’ve needed those for awhile.”

“Yeah, oh, and some body wash, since it’s on sale this week.”

Second, if you had your choice of cars, why would you choose the limo to go to Target? “Oh, let’s take the limo to Target. Neat idea.” Who are you trying to impress? You’re going to Target, not Neiman Marcus. Are you buying that much stuff? I know that most Targets have huge parking lots, but if it’s crowded, where are you going to put that thing? Or are you going to have your driver just circle around for awhile? And if you do park, you’re quite likely to get dinged by a rogue shopping cart…let’s face it, a limo’s a pretty big disaster target.

Hey…Dumb Starbucks, meet Disaster Target.

I like it.

In other news, Whole Foods had panettone tonight. It was just okay.

 

Dropout: The All-New Word Game!

So, last night as I was trying to get to sleep (spoiler alert: it didn’t happen), my curious and hyperactive mind created a brand new word game, which I’m calling DROPOUT.

How to Play:

1. Start with a 7-letter word. For example, dropout.

2. Drop the first letter of the word and replace it with another. Using the example word above, I would drop d and replace it with to get outcrop.

3. (Here’s where it gets tricky). Take the second letter of the original word (which is r), drop and replace. From outcrop, I would drop the and add an to create copouts (or octopus, actually).

4. Keep dropping letters of the original word, in order, until you have a completely original 7-letter word. Then, congratulations! You win!

Here’s the chain I made for dropout:

DROPOUT - D + C =

OUTCROP - R + S =

COPOUTS - O + A =

UPCOAST – P + N =

TOUCANS - O + H =

STAUNCH - U + E =

CHASTEN - T + G =

CHANGES. (Ironic!)

And voila! There you have it.

Some auxiliary rules:

1. You do not have to use all new letters. You can replace a letter with one you’ve already used or dropped.

2. You can use the same letter more than once in a word.

3. Proper nouns are not allowed, but plurals are.

4. Your final word can share letters with the original word, provided they’ve been dropped and readded.

To all you word gamers/procrastinators out there: it came from my brain, and you’re welcome.

Have a great morning.

 

No, I Haven’t Forgotten

I almost forgot about Hanukkah starting tonight, but no, I have not forgotten about this blog.

That’s So Jacob has been that’s so busy, for real this time.

And even though in my About page, it’s sort of meant as a joke, I really do need to clean my apartment.

Tag, You’re It

So, today we had our dress rehearsal for this weekend’s dance showcase. Last Sunday, a few of us went to Kohl’s to pick up belts/vests/shirts. We purchased 6 items for $146 (saving $181, but that’s beside the point) and when I got home, I just left my items (vest and tie) in the bag, in my car. Today, I grabbed the bag from my car in my rush to get to rehearsal at Memorial Union. As I was putting on the final piece of the costume – my vest – I noticed some weight against one of the sides.

Yep.

They forgot to take the security tag off.

For those of you who do not shop regularly at high-end stores (like Kohl’s), a security tag is a plastic/metal/magnet thing pinned into the fabric. Its purpose is to prevent said item of clothing from being stolen from the store. When the item is purchased, a little magnet at the register pops that security tag right off. If the average person tries to rip it off, it will explode ink everywhere, coating the item and the hands of the person who broke it; I kid you not. If it’s not removed from the garment, the store’s alarm goes off when you leave and all hell breaks loose and that’s when people actually start going ballistic.

Yet, for what it’s worth, I managed to get the vest out of the store with the security tag intact.

I couldn’t very well take it off myself, so I danced through the rehearsal today with it on, looking like some kind of tagged dancing fugitive. I kept having images of it beeping during the performance and some mall cops invading the dance floor and arresting me. Or that it would trigger the building to explode, or something.

But seriously?

You had one job, plastic security tag.

At least now I have an excuse to go back to Kohl’s tomorrow.

 

Too Much Tuesday

First, there was Black Friday.

Then, there was African-American Friday.

Then, there was Cyber Monday.

This year took it to a whole new level: Giving Tuesday.

What is this?

First of all, stop it with the naming of the days. They already have arbitrary names that I sometimes don’t remember as it is. Second of all, the only thing that’s being given is a headache, to me and the rest of the world. Soliciting for a donation is normally not a problem, but when I wake up to 47 emails asking for money from everything from American Cancer Society to Maryland Book Bank, it makes me want to not donate. Which is the opposite of the point of the day, I think. Also, you’re giving Internet servers worldwide even more spam. Finally, oddly enough, I’m still getting emails, over a week later.

Giving Tuesday? Give me a break.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, happy Tuesday, everyone. My day consisted of a presentation, followed by too much running around, baking sufganiyot, and rehearsing in the dance studio. Can it be the weekend already? I am exhausted.

So yeah, seriously. Give me a break.

Eloise at Apartment 803

Here’s what I have to do:

  • Reread my Drama in Education textbook (Monday)
  • Finish my PowerPoint and my presentation for Postcolonial Theatre (Tuesday)
  • Do a draft of my Theatre History Paper (Tuesday)
  • Practice for showcase performance (Friday)
  • Study for my Postcolonial Theatre exam (A week from Friday)
  • Start working on my Chinese Drama paper (…sometime further in the future)

Here’s what I’ve done:

  • Tear up my apartment looking for my copy of Eloise.
  • Make a cover for my Drama in Education portfolio with stickers, crayons, and pens.

Oh my Lord I am absolutely so busy I don’t know how I can possibly get everything done. – Kay Thompson & Hilary Knight, Eloise at the Plaza

On Hanging In There

So this has been an extremely busy week for me, yet I’ve been so, so lazy about getting things done. More accurately, I have not gotten a lot done. I guess I’m worried about a lot of things, and there’s just been a fear of…I don’t know…failing, stress, loneliness, whatever feelings.

At least I have gotten a few kind words this week, from people other than myself.

I guess you could say I’m hanging in there, but exactly how I’m hanging? Debatable.

Things I have accomplished this week:

1. I baked 2 cakes.

2.

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