My Life at this Moment (Unfiltered)

I feel like it’s time for another unfiltered ramble-post about absolutely nothing in particular; just some freewriting to help me collect and compartmentalize my thoughts.

I’ve been an abject failure when it comes to getting places on time. Gym, appointments, rehearsals, meetings, social engagements – you name it, I’ve made it but been late. It hasn’t caused any serious problems but it’s a burden on my soul, I guess, and I’m tired of being late. No matter how hard I try, it always seems to happen…

Today was pretty sweet as well – I took Kate to Target to pick up some things, then had rehearsal in Baytown, where I delivered a lecture, which I was prepared for. Right after I came in, Jim called on me to pitch my lecture during a 10 minute break in the singing action, and I had my notes right there, got through all of them, got a round of applause and a high-five from Mr. Director himself. It was light, breezy, and refreshing. New motto: I’d rather be late and prepared than on time and absolutely clueless.

I felt so sore this morning, so I didn’t exercise today for the first time all week. I think it was good. I miss training though, I can’t wait for next Wednesday at 4. As far as body image goes – yeah, it’s not happening. Reality TV is sapping that feeling from me, I just can’t seem to shake it.

Why am I getting “End-of-Life” and “Right To Die” as my recommended tags? Not just creepy and depressing, but cringeworthy.

I had a series of incredibly vivid dreams last night, most of which scared me half to death. The first was about crashing my dad’s car in Ontario – a red car with Ohio license plates that looks nothing like my dad’s car. All subsequent dreams involved this fact, which freaked me out to the max. One was a dream about being late for an interview, and another was about waking up the day of the show having done no dramaturgy at all, and people being like “that’s just the way it is.” Woke up late, again. Surprise!

On the plus side, I was able to whip up tonight’s lecture in a serious jiffy after screwing around on Facebook and BuzzFeed all day. It took me only about a half hour. Maybe less. My fingers were on fire. Only one picture but I’ll make up for it. Part II on Monday.

No scrolling up and reflecting! Stop that Jacob.

So, next up for me (to-do list):

  • Project for J
  • Post on the dramaturgy listserv
  • Work on lecture for Monday
  • Catch up on HaMerotz LaMillion
  • Don’t let body image affect me so much (like that’ll happen)
  • Eat more healthy meals (and eat more in general – I can’t keep depriving myself of foods based on time of day, body image, etc)
  • Put more stuff in the social calendar
  • Finish some pleasure reading books
  • Think about more posts

I’m getting distracted. This post is over. Good night and good luck.


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