Lights On But Nobody’s Home

Walking home from Chabad earlier tonight, I saw a car parked outside my building with its lights on.

And the motor running.

And the keys in the ignition.

I don’t know why people think that this is a good idea; it wastes gas, and of course, it would be so easy for someone walking by to just break a window (or open the door, as it’s most likely unlocked) and drive away. I looked to my left and my right, and seeing no one. I just stood there and stared at the car, as if I expected the driver to be hiding on the floor to jump out and surprise me. I walked up to it, very close but not touching, and contemplated just getting in and driving away…serves you right, lazy bum who didn’t want to pay for parking because you were only going to be “just a minute” and your high beams are blinding everyone who is trying to walk down the steep hill. At night. When it’s cold. And there’s a frozen lake at the bottom. I should just move it up the street a little, to mess with you. You made it so easy.

Anyway. Decided to go inside instead, up to my nice warm apartment.

Oh, and as I walked in, a tall, friendly-looking Asian guy was walking out. After he left, I watched to see if it was indeed it his car, and it was, and he drove away. Eh, I wasn’t in the mood to fuck up your day anyways.


3 thoughts on “Lights On But Nobody’s Home

  1. oh my so much fun just sat there waiting ^_^ i would have got in but sat on the seat over the other side and when he came back i would be like “oh my god finally! jeez you took so long i thought you had got lost or something anyway hurry up we have to be at the cinema for ten o clock!” and smile maniacally at him, or get in and lay across the back seat and let him drive off then after ten minutes i would say in what i would hope was a menacing voice “you should always check the back seat when getting in car” followed of course by the well rehearsed maniacal laugh, or even better how about one inspired by the grudge films sit in the footwell of the other seat not saying anything just staring up at him clutching my knees rocking back and forth of course this one is more effective if you paint dark circle round your eyes and then white /grey face etc mind you i think it would be hard to explain why you were putting on stage make up for ten minutes whilst waiting for a bloke to leave his car running, especially if you are unlucky and no bloke comes along leaving his car running then you got explaining to do and a heap load of make up to wash off, okay i confess i would probably chicken out of all these but all the way home i would have bizarre and interesting ideas oooh i got another one – get in the car eating hotdogs and offer him one when he comes back then say “cost me ten quid that lot you owe me 5 quid now” or hide in the back seat and yell “the aliens are coming when he gets in” or……………………okay i could be here all night so have a great day and take care ^_^

      • yeah of course you spot empty cars and shout me unless i am in the middle of some serious parkour training then i will jumping off rooftops doing fancy somersaults and oh who am i kidding i can’t even run for a bus never mind run up a building unless it was a very small building maybe like a shed or even a dog house yeah a doghouse so as long as i am not jumping off doghouses i will be there course you will have to explain to your other friends why i am jumping of a doghouse but i am sure you can handle that ^_^

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