In honor of today being both Easter Sunday and 4/20, I thought I’d make a list.
Top Ten Things a Stoner Might Say on Easter
10. “Man, these little green plastic streamers aren’t working…what did you line the kids’ Easter baskets with again?”
9. “I have risen! Hahahaha just kidding I’m so totally not high right now.”
8. “You seen a big tall rabbit anywhere around here?”
7. “Under my Easter bonnet…no one can see how high I am.”
6. “I’ll show you how this Easter Egg rolls…”*
5. “GIMME YOUR CHOCOLATE BUNNY, LITTLE GIRL IN MARY JANES”
4. “Haha, Mary Janes.”
3. “Dude. I want some ham.”
2. “Mmm…baked ham. Hahahaha”
1. “Whatever man. Is Taco Bell open today?”
Whether you did Easter or did drugs today, hope you had a good one.
It’s still Passover, so I did matzah today.
*Can’t take full credit for this one. My friend Hannah told me that even though Madison is a hippie-dippie kinda place, they had an Easter egg roll on the Capital lawn rather than some sort of marijuana-related event, which surprised me. I then suggested that they hide chocolate eggs and charge stoners $10 to find them, to which she suggested that if there was a way to stuff a slice of pizza in the egg, that would be even better.