Have you ever looked at a sign or something that didn’t look quite right, and then you looked again and the letters changed places and then it said something different?
That happens to me…all. the. time.
And usually it’s something dirty.
I bring this up because it happened twice on the trip back.
First, the non-dirty one. As my dad and I were driving through Chicago, we both did a double take at an exit sign, and said to each other almost at the same time “Does that say Kosher Avenue?” For the record, it was Kostner Avenue, but how cool would a Kosher Avenue be, and how weird is it that we not only saw something that was not there, but we saw the same thing that was not there?
Second, the dirty one. I was scrolling through my Facebook feed in the passenger seat, and one of my friends – who is a religious, Orthodox Jewish wife and mother – posted “And we are now proud homeowners!” And what did I read?
You guessed it… “And we are now proud homosexuals!”
My first instinct was to scroll back, so I read it again and it said that again. Just as I was about to comment and congratulate them for coming out of the closet (??) it rearranged in my brain back to “homeowners,” and then I felt dirty.
It happens just about everywhere. I can misread anything and everything. An email from my professor saying “Sure, you can pop in my office any day this week,” became “Sure, you can poop in my office any day this week.” I actually read an obituary, “Mr. Josephs leaves behind a daughter, Patty Ruth,” and somehow I saw “Mr. Josephs leaves behind a daughter, Potty Ruth.” (Apologies, Patty Ruth Josephs, whoever and wherever you are). I swear, one time a bag of Funyans once transformed into a bag of Bunions right before my eyes.
Probably the best ones are when I have to do double takes at bookstores. One used bookstore I went to all the time in college had two books on display in different parts of the store:
Don’t tell me you didn’t read them as Garden of Breasts and Goat Brothels.
Because I did, every single time I passed them.
Also, here’s some free advice: don’t do a Google Image Search for “goat brothels.” And don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Oh, and yay for another six-continent day! North America (USA), South America (Argentina), Europe (UK, Sweden, Switzerland, France, Netherlands), Asia (China), Africa (Egypt), and Oceania (French Polynesia, Australia). Woohoo!