Goat Brothels on Kosher Avenue: Dirty Mental Dyslexia

Have you ever looked at a sign or something that didn’t look quite right, and then you looked again and the letters changed places and then it said something different?

That happens to me…all. the. time.

And usually it’s something dirty.

I bring this up because it happened twice on the trip back.

First, the non-dirty one. As my dad and I were driving through Chicago, we both did a double take at an exit sign, and said to each other almost at the same time “Does that say Kosher Avenue?” For the record, it was Kostner Avenue, but how cool would a Kosher Avenue be, and how weird is it that we not only saw something that was not there, but we saw the same thing that was not there?

Second, the dirty one. I was scrolling through my Facebook feed in the passenger seat, and one of my friends – who is a religious, Orthodox Jewish wife and mother – posted “And we are now proud homeowners!” And what did I read?

You guessed it… “And we are now proud homosexuals!”

My first instinct was to scroll back, so I read it again and it said that again. Just as I was about to comment and congratulate them for coming out of the closet (??) it rearranged in my brain back to “homeowners,” and then I felt dirty.

It happens just about everywhere. I can misread anything and everything. An email from my professor saying “Sure, you can pop in my office any day this week,” became “Sure, you can poop in my office any day this week.” I actually read an obituary, “Mr. Josephs leaves behind a daughter, Patty Ruth,” and somehow I saw “Mr. Josephs leaves behind a daughter, Potty Ruth.” (Apologies, Patty Ruth Josephs, whoever and wherever you are). I swear, one time a bag of Funyans once transformed into a bag of Bunions right before my eyes.

Probably the best ones are when I have to do double takes at bookstores. One used bookstore I went to all the time in college had two books on display in different parts of the store:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t tell me you didn’t read them as Garden of Breasts and Goat Brothels.

Because I did, every single time I passed them.

Also, here’s some free advice: don’t do a Google Image Search for “goat brothels.” And don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Oh, and yay for another six-continent day! North America (USA), South America (Argentina), Europe (UK, Sweden, Switzerland, France, Netherlands), Asia (China), Africa (Egypt), and Oceania (French Polynesia, Australia). Woohoo!

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14 thoughts on “Goat Brothels on Kosher Avenue: Dirty Mental Dyslexia

  1. I sometimes think I get lazy about reading and that occasionally happens. But I mixed messages more from what I think a person is saying. Most recently a co-worker wished someone else a good shift. Guess what I heard?
    Diana xo

  2. LOL … I hear you 🙂 ..used to happen to me all the time 🙂 but as I’ve gotten older its happened less and less . now its mostly only happens when I read or try to write in Norwegian LOL … It makes for lots of giggles that’s for sure .. the mad dance the letters make some mix of ballet & all that jazz 🙂 I somehow got to notice the key letters that jumped .. the ones that played follow the leader s to speak ..and took them on a kinda boot camp 101 in my head giving them colours and pictures ..

  3. This happens to me EVERY DAY! And like you said, sometimes you can reread and reread and it says the same thing, but suddenly it fixes itself and says something completely different! (That same sort of thing happened to me on FB where I almost commented on something thinking it said something else. Fortunately I figured it out before I hit send!)

  4. Thank goodness i’m not alone. I thought it was simply my aging brain. 😉 sorry, but that train wreck, goat brothels, is now a must see for me. P.S. Remember, i’m old. I’ve seen everything…I think.

  5. That is funny. I think a lot of us do this all the time. My worst ones are in conversations. I always hear something different. I occasionally read things wrong but I find it quite funny when I have to do the double take and find out it is not even close to what I read and I just laugh about what I thought it was. The way they design the letters doesn’t help as well. I read Goat Brothers wrong too and wasn’t even sure if I read goat right.

  6. Yep, I do this all the time, too! Doesn’t help that I’m also hard of hearing so I think I hear all sorts of weird crap when really, the weird one is me! Oh and I’m definitely taking your word for it re goat brothels – I’m still traumatized from a high school research project on the KKK and all the eye searing non-KKK stuff that came up (probably related to the goat brothels)…

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