Malaise-y Susan

So, normally I don’t do this – or at least not here, that is – but I just have to say it. I’ve been super down lately. This blog is about stories and fun and jollity and stuff like that but I haven’t been feeling it, so it’s time for a get-real post. And if you don’t like these kinds of posts, you can come back tomorrow for something different.

It’s just been really weird for me lately. Spring semester is going along pretty smoothly, I have several conference papers to work on, along with an article and thinking about prelims, but I’m just not feeling it. I don’t know if it’s the body image issues I’m going through right now, or general loneliness, or depression, or stress, or just “winter malaise” of single-digit-weather Wisconsin. But something is just not right in Jacob World, and it’s bugging me.

“Ya wanna blog about it, Jacob?”

Well, that’s kind of what I’m doing. I guess. I don’t know.

I’m just grateful that I haven’t been totally alone for too long this week; WeKache was here to visit, and then I had lunch with the Gellers, which is always super nice, and maybe we’ll hang out tomorrow, and then on Purim on Wednesday.

I guess I’m just nervous about the show. This coming weekend I’m committed to be in the theater from 9 AM to 7 PM on Saturday, and then 10 AM to (potentially) 11 PM on Sunday. Then, after next Monday off, I’m in the theater for at least part of the day every day for the next seven. And then there’s everything else…film festival…APO…dance…school…

Wow, what a disappointing 400th post.

Oh, and there are two different dresses. TWO DIFFERENT DRESSES, PEOPLE.

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25 thoughts on “Malaise-y Susan

  1. Hey Jacob!
    Are you performing? Never knew. Tell us more about that, I’m sure we would all love to hear it. Also, it’s okay I think everyone feels depressed once in a while or sometimes more. It’s just the way things are.

    Congratulations on your 400th post though! It’s not a disappointing one but I would like to hear more on the theater part 🙂
    – Zareen xo

  2. Well, the brutal winter certainly doesn’t help, does it. That can bring anyone down. Lots of things going on in your life right now, some of them sound interesting. Maybe you just need some Jacob time. If you can’t take a day for yourself, a few hours will do. Just break away and do nothing, or something, that makes you happy. Coming back to all you have to do after that might put you in a different frame of mind. Sometimes you just need to shake up life a little and alter the routine.

  3. I’m sorry that you’re feeling down. I’m betting your malaise is a combination of all that you’ve mentioned, but promise that if gets to be more than you can handle that you’ll find someone to talk to; a friend or counselor. I know that most universities have confidential counseling. Are you getting enough natural light and exercise, and drinking enough water? (Just some motherly advice from this mom of three.) 🙂
    I’d love to hear more about your show; I minored in theatre.

    • Thanks! I like motherly advice. The show is the show, it’s a really good one that I’m enjoying being a part of. It’s just the anticipation of getting started and the possibility of me screwing something up (I’m wardrobe, so not sure how that could happen, but it could) is scary. It’s just a lot of emotions right now.

  4. Seasonal affective disorder perhaps? Spring is almost coming! Just hang on there…. blog if you must to get rid of those blah-y feelings of yours. You can blog about that fr@#king dress too if you want! Take care lots!

      • I’ve read that it is some form of depression usually experienced by folks up north during the winter months where the days are short and there is not much sunlight. my hubby thinks I have that condition as even rainy days affect my mood so!

  5. Doing too much with so little time might have something to do with it. Time is moving too fast now a days. I could hardly keep up with the list of things I have to do and blog at the same time. Sometimes, taking a break from it all for a day and just rest might be the answer. Good luck and congratulations on your 400th post. 🙂

  6. Jacob, I hope you feel better. After all of that is over and done with, you should treat yourself to a bit of ‘me’ time 🙂 After such hard work staying on top of things you really deserve it!

  7. Funnily enough, I picked up on that through your last few blog posts, I’ve been a silent observer for that reason 🙂

    It helps to put it into words and share, you should see that people genuinely care about you here too, I hope that you find a small bit of comfort in that.

    Everything will get back on track, it always does. What is the show about? I see that you’re working wardrobe, which is right up my street!

    • Good silent observing then, Adele. I guess I don’t want to turn this blog into my own personal sob spot…it’s meant to be a bright spot in my life. Still, you need the dim to counterbalance the bright.

      The show is about penguins.

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