A Duggar Family-Inspired Song and Angry Cooking

So, like the rest of mainstream America, for the past few days, I’ve been glued to the television and the Internet, watching the downward spiral of TLC’s beloved mega-family, The Duggars, and the possible (probable) complete axe of their show, 19 Kids and Counting. For those of you who don’t know, here’s a brief synopsis:

::cue Brady Bunch music::

Here’s the story, of a Christian Fundie lady, who had a most unfortunate perm…and then she and her husband popped out 19 kids and got a television show out of it.

And yes, it is a show that I actually watched, and sort of liked; sure they’re religious wack-jobs, but at least they’re not materialistic or gun-toting murderers, so bring on the family fun.

But now, they’re getting media attention not for Mama Michelle’s uterus, but for Number-One Son Josh’s wandering teenage eyes and hands.

Tonight, I sat down and watched the Duggar Interview with Megyn Kelly on FOX, and was disturbed, pleased, and disappointed at the same time. I’m just going to put this out there: I don’t think that the Duggars are bad people, or, well, no worse than the rest of us. But they just kinda need to stop and take a step back from the limelight and sort it all out. I feel bad for the little kids who have no idea what’s going on, and also kind of for Michelle. Sure, Jim Bob and Josh are smug as ever (I never liked Josh, he always reminded me of a gym coach at my high school who eventually got arrested for inappropriate behavior with some underage girls at my school but that’s another story), but the normally placid Michelle showed some vulnerability in that interview. It felt, to me at least, like she really wanted to cry and scream and yell and bite some peoples’ heads off but since that’s not in her nature or personality (and because she knows better), she didn’t.

Okay, warning, going on a rant involving religion here, skip if you don’t want to read me.

I despise that they’re bringing religion/church into it, and “forgiveness.” In Judaism, we gotta man up and own our sins every single Yom Kippur while we’re fasting for 25 hours. It’s called being accountable, and even our prayers spell it out: gossiping, “running to evil,” disrespecting parents and teachers, being gluttonous, et cetera. And just because we pray doesn’t mean jack unless you change your behavior. Seriously, that’s the point of the Day of Atonement. Basically, we’re admitting that we’re flawed, imperfect people and we’re thanking God for letting us live another year despite everything we’ve done, and begging for another year of life. And then we repeat the process.

<end rant>

But really, every time I’ve watched this show over the past few years, the same tune runs through my mind. Here’s some background music for full effect:

Now, let’s sing!

They’re creepy and they’re spooky

They’re altogether ooky

They live out in the boonies

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

Their house is a museum

On TLC we see ’em

We wouldn’t want to be ’em

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

While Dad Jim-Bob is cloying

Michelle’s been girl-and-boying

Their haircuts are annoying

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

There’s Josh, who married Anna

John-David and-a Jana

Today I had a banana

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

Then Jill, who’s now a mama

And Jessa, with her drama

Poor Jinger’s name’s a trauma

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

There’s Joseph and Josiah

Joy-Anna, Jedediah

Whose twin is Jeremiah

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

Jason, James, and Justin

Then Jackson, and we must-in-

Clude Johannah, Jen, and Jordyn

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

The littlest is Josie

Her cheeks are red and rosy

And now this song will close-y

The Duggar Family.

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

Duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

Duh duh duh dum, duh duh duh dum, duh duh duh dum ::snap snap::

Well that was fun.

All told, it inspired me to cook up a storm, including some chicken and a burrito bowl, and head-bang in my kitchen to a mix of Garbage, the Cardigans, Smashing Pumpkins, and Muse, who brought us this perfect song:

In other news, has anyone seen my fleishig kitchen knife? I can’t find it anywhere.

Good night everybody!

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10 thoughts on “A Duggar Family-Inspired Song and Angry Cooking

  1. I watched the show for awhile, enjoyed it, but as it is with me and most things, I quickly moved on to something else.

    As I’ve watched this unfold, listening to different commentary, and the rants of my friends, there is still an underlying seething that I can’t soothe.

    I was sexually molested by my father, as were my four other sisters. There is NOTHING more disturbing than to hear that the, “Statute of Limitations has expired’, or something as ridiculous as having handled the situation privately thru prayer and counseling by a friend for their son. Once again it feels like the victims are to blame, or at least in someway responsible for their part in the heinous atrocities of their older brother’s ‘pleasure’ game. And make no mistake, that is exactly what he was doing. Pleasuring himself with younger children.

    Everything about this situation fails the smell test. Yes, I bring my own baggage into it and define it thru the eyes of the victim. I can’t help but wonder why Mrs. Duggar didn’t pack up the tribe, minus that son and his father, and simply set out in search of protection and aid for all? All too often I heard the statement from my own mother, “Where would I go?” … Our Grandparents was the obvious answer, but the woman was too ashamed to admit the obvious. How could she live down the shame, how could she accept that she was not responsible for the pedophile she married? How could she return home, six kids in tow and back into the small town where everyone knew everyone? After all, my father was a war hero, Silver Star, Commendation medal, two Purple Hearts.

    There’s something wrong with this world when we begin to grant forgiveness to a perpetrator before we offer aid, counseling, and acknowledge publicly to the affected parties that we are on their side. We want justice for them.

    I could go on endlessly with my rant. Rather, I’ll just sum it up with this: Do we forgive? Can we forget? Before you answer, ask a victim. They, alone, are the only people allowed to respond.

    This is a circus, how it plays out will define how willing we are to take a stand and say, “No!” to the pain and lifelong suffering this abuse has upon it’s victims.

    • Marg: I’m so sorry for all you went through. I am fortunate to be able to say that I cannot identify with your experience. It’s weird; I grew up being totally unaware of what molestation was, and it wasn’t until I entered the real world, in college, that I became aware of this reality, and some of the tenets that go along with. As I’ve related in some of my previous posts, when I was growing up, touching (especially of the opposite sex) was not encouraged, so I never really thought about doing it. Starting in college, though, I became aware of things. In freshman year, I hugged a female friend of mine a little too low, completely unaware, and got a talking-to from my RA, who seemed confused that I didn’t know what I did wrong; once I knew, I apologized to said friend. Then, in sophomore year, I hugged a different female friend of mine, again, innocently, but a little too high, and the same thing happened (I got in trouble, talked to, apologized, and it was fine). Both times, I had no idea what I was doing or what I did wrong, but I’m glad that my friends told me what I did wrong and were nice enough people to acknowledge that I made a one-time mistake, and shrugged it off. On the OTHER side of things, in junior year of college, I was at the Chabad House, and one of the rabbi’s daughters, who was probably around 7 or 8 years old and on the affectionate/clingy side, would constantly try to sit on my lap whenever I was in the house, and my instincts were to move away, especially when her parents were in the room, and I’d say things like “you can sit next to me, just not ON me.” Likewise, last year, I took a course on drama and education where we played with children, and in one of the role playing scenarios one week, I was playing a dead animal or something, and lying on the floor on my side, and opened my eyes to find one of the little girls pretty much laying on top of me, at which point one of my classmates somehow got her attention and she got off my back (literally), and during our reflection afterwards without the kids, I mentioned that, and how “normal me” wouldn’t mind a little girl crawling on me, but “teacher me” was apprehensive.
      Okay, wow, that went to a weird place.
      ANYWAY, to answer something you asked, Mrs. Duggar probably didn’t pack up the kids and moved because of being brainwashed by a) her husband, b) their weird interpretation of religion, and c) the $$ from her contract.

      • First of all, please let me thank you, not just for your reply, but for writing your post about the Duggar Family. Without you ever realizing it, your words opened a much needed discussion. It allowed me to relive my past free of shame and blame. I was allowed a soapbox, if you will, to proclaim what a victim experiences.

        Your testimony gave comfort to many, more than you will ever know. When you mentioned your experiences I couldn’t help but wonder about what had occurred in the lives of the older students. I don’t think I would be remiss to say that your innocent hugs were interpreted as inappropriate due to something that may have happened at some earlier point in their lives.

        I commend you on discussing how you reacted to the young girl crawling all over you, and the situation with the Rabbi’s daughter. Sadly, there are innocent people accused of inappropriate behavior, when in reality, their actions were in no way a sexual manifestation to a hidden agenda.

        The only way that this World will grow in understanding is if we come together to discuss issues that affect each and every one of us. All too often, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, drug and alcohol and mental illnesses are hidden away in closets, not to be mentioned for fear that it will upset the ‘apple cart’ … But when something arises and a dialog takes place there can be so much understanding and growth that follows. Your post is a perfect example.

        I look at the situation of gender identity and sexual preference as another example. Forever it was shunned from discussions because it was considered immoral and deviant. Thankfully we are finally willing to listen and learn. It wasn’t until I became pregnant with my second daughter at age 39, while under going chemotherapy that I was faced with a life or death scenario. Under the guidance of my OBGyn, my husband and I were encouraged to undergo genetic counseling. I learned so much that I would go so far as to say that a semester of genetic counseling would be a beneficial asset to any high school curriculum, even more important than Sex Ed.

        A person’s genetics are written at conception. Some will argue ‘until those damn cows come home’ that anything other than being heterosexual is ‘just wrong.’ I know better, and I live in hope that we as a society will educate ourselves. Just as mental illness has been vilified, so has a person’s sexual preference. Let us exclude the aberrant behavior of the pedophile. That is criminal. Period. But, let’s accept that we do grievous harm to many by labeling them as deviants because they do not prefer a mate of the opposite sex.

        Now, back to the Duggar Family. Yes, Mrs. Duggar is certainly brainwashed. Jim Bob has dominated her universe and determined that she serve him. As for their religion? I am uncomfortable with judging it. I do not hesitate to say that it is a sham to use it as a cover to shield their son, and I find it regretful that their first call to God was not for their daughters. But I have faith. Not one of us is above God. Judgement belongs to Him.

        Thank you, Jacob, as always, I love your insightfullness and honesty.

  2. Excellent post, Jacob! I agree completely with your assessment, and love how you mention about being accountable for your actions – that’s what seems to be missing in this awful story. Instead the concern seems to be that they will lose their cash-cow show, rather than caring for the victims.

  3. Until lately I had never heard of the Duggar family – don’t watch reality tv as I have enough family reality already. I did watch the Adams Family back in its day and your song is too funny!

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