5

Because I’m An Adult, I Will…

Because I’m an adult, I will eat sandwiches off of paper towels and strawberries over the sink so I don’t have to do dishes.

Despite the fact that I own service for 12.

And I can do that, because I’m An Adult.

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8

regressing to someone else’s childhood

I think that’s what’s happening to me.

A few weeks ago, I saw one of those adult coloring books at Target. I swore I wouldn’t buy it, since even though I did some coloring as a kid, I colored maybe 15% of what I owned, so I knew it would just end up being more junk somewhere, but I bought it anyway.

And one night last week, I was awake until 2 AM coloring in one of the pages of mandalas with an intricate pattern, for absolutely no reason.

On Saturday, I played around with a jigsaw puzzle when I went to the rabbi’s house for lunch, and yesterday, at Target ,as I was walking past the board games, something within me reached out to grab a puzzle. I don’t even know what it is – it’s something with cats and flowers – but, even though I had and still have essays to grade, papers to write, blog posts to update, and books to read, I spent 2 hours this afternoon just playing with the pieces and connecting a few of them together. I liked puzzles as a kid, but it was just like I was ACHING to buy a puzzle and put it together, like, RIGHT NOW.

Next thing you know I’ll be wearing a onesie. I saw a grown man in a Spiderman onesie, at Target, and wondered where acceptable fashion in public has run off to. I guess looking like an infant is the new black?

Am I regressing into someone else’s childhood?

4

Things I’m Bad At As An Adult

This week, Jenna Marbles posted a video detailing things she is bad at as an adult. We are around the same age, and more or less in the same place in life (Ph.D. student, YouTube personality…we’re basically twins separated at birth. I agreed with a lot of her video and had some of my own to add.

Things I’m Bad At As An Adult:

  1. Dressing myself/Clothing. I like most of my clothing, but I can be a terrible dresser. I don’t like to dress my age, if that means wearing boring white Oxfords and ties while attempting to recapture some kind of lost youth. Give me my t-shirts and jeans any day. I have decided to stop wearing hoodies on days when I teach. It’s not much, but it’s a start. I’m also bad about stained clothes; I ruined a few things with a pen in the wash by accident and I’m probably going to keep wearing those clothes.
  2. Washing dishes. It’s always been my least favorite chore. Even though I have a dishwasher, I still dislike loading and unloading it. Maybe I should invest in some latex gloves in an interesting print.
  3. Cleaning up when I say I will. I have so much stuff on the floor, counters, tables…and nowhere to put it. Or probably somewhere, I don’t know.
  4. Anything involving finances. Here’s my philosophy on spending. Don’t buy what you can’t afford. Don’t buy what you don’t need. Go easy on the eating out.
1

Things I Get Excited About As An Adult

Last week, Jenna Marbles made a video about things that get her excited as an adult. She is only a year older than I am, so I can identify with her, most of the time. When I started the video, I was convinced that she had officially gone over to the dark side…if there is a dark side…of adulthood. But then, I realized that I get excited about a lot of things as an adult too.

Here’s her video:

And here’s my list for comparison.

  • Recycling. I don’t just mean bottles, cans, and paper (though that is exciting too), but recycling things like notebooks, even post-it notes, until the stickiness is gone. As a kid, I used to want brand new school supplies every single year. Now, I get excited when I get the chance to reuse anything, from a notebook to a plastic bag. I feel like I’m doing my part for the health of our planet.
  • A new checkbook. I just bought some new checks, with Wizard of Oz prints. I’ve never been more excited to spend money.
  • Staying in bed. As a kid? A curse. Now? The more I can do there, the better. That’s why I love hotels; you can watch TV from bed.
  • Hot baths. Again, yay for hotels. And my parents’ house. Well, until I get an apartment with a tub instead of a shower stall.
  • Delicious vegetables. Growing up, I hated vegetables, like most other kids. I thought that everyone hated them, and even adults just tolerated them. Then, I learned that my mother boiled the shit out of all the vegetables she made for us, so that they all tasted rubbery. Now, properly-prepared vegetables can leave me wanting seconds or even thirds.
  • Singing the birthday song. As a kid? Embarrassing. But on my birthday, these days? I love it. I feel like everyone’s got at least one thing that they absolutely need on their birthday. For example, one year, my dad forgot to pick up my mother’s birthday cake from the bakery before it closed for the day, and she got so upset. Now, every year since, we have at least two cakes for her birthday. Not to mention a backup cake in the fridge.
  • Corncob holders that look like corn on the cob. Self-explanatory.