When people tell me I’m funny, I tell them that I’m not. I tell them that I am the least funny person they will ever meet in their lives.
Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it’s moments like these that I feel like I’m a few steps behind the world.
This time last week, at Shabbat dinner, the topic of conversation was nails. Someone (Carly, maybe?) had gotten a manicure before Shabbat, and people were talking about crazy manicures and nail designs. I mentioned a friend of mine from college who painted a different design on her nails every week, according to the zodiac or something. Somebody mentioned how that was commitment, and I was like…
“Yeah, she must have had a lot of time on her hands.”
People laugh, and about two minutes pass before I understand what I just said.
I realized that I’ve done this from time to time. Back in high school, we watched the movie version of The Crucible after reading it in English class. The ending of the movie is much different than the ending of the play. After we watched it, we discussed it, and my first thought?
“I didn’t like this ending. It kinda leaves you hanging.”
I think a full five minutes passed before I got that one.
The third story is one that’s a bit more contextual, so apologies in advance if you don’t get it.
So, in my sophomore year of high school, we put on Les Miserables. Yes, that one. At our Orthodox Jewish high school. It goes without saying that it was pretty terrible, but we had a few great rehearsal moments. One time, early in the rehearsal process, we were all sitting around chatting during a break, and someone remarked on the lack of “Lovely Ladies” and the characters in that number, and people suddenly started asking questions like “where are the lovely ladies?” And some idiot said, “Do we have a Pimp?”
Without blinking, my drama teacher goes:
“No. Not anymore.”
For a split-second she looked up and around, and then laughed. Fortunately, I think she was making a joke.
I hope she was making a joke.
I have Diane to thank for this post. Thanks, Diane!
Also, hooray for being a five-continent day, all but Africa.