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As Told By Ginger and Other Things That Are Not Coming Back

Facebook informed me today that As Told By Ginger, probably one of the most true-to-life and thoughtful animated series of all time (or at least on Nickelodeon) was going to come back. With all the recent hype about Fuller House and the general nostalgia trend, I wanted to believe it. I hoped it was true.

Then, I learned that it was based on a post by a site called MoviePilot.com, which has been known to a) spread lies and b) steal content. If you really want to go to that site, you can, but it’s utter crap. If it were really coming back, Nickelodeon would say something about it (like they have about the Hey Arnold! reboot movie), and not release some crappy drawings on some site run by a third party.

So, despite the fact that Facebook’s news feed, though bearing questionable content (such as what color dress Eva Longoria wore to the Golden Globes, alongside a headline about the body of a missing teenager found in Nebraska) is usually correct, don’t get all your news from there. And don’t get your hopes up about As Told By Ginger returning either, because it is not happening.

And before another false hope crosses into your horizon, let me shoot down a few other things that are not coming back.

1. TRL. When was the last time regular MTV played music videos? Every so often this pops up, and no, it’s not happening.

2. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead. There have been rumors of a reboot of this Christina Applegate-led classic getting a reboot with every teen star from Selena Gomez to Ashley Tisdale to Miley Cyrus, and though it could be fun as a 21st century adventure, not happening.

3. Rugrats. It ran for ten years, including specials, movies, and a spinoff series, All Grown Up. While I loved watching Tommy and crew, I can’t think of many more situations they could get into without reinventing it into something else. Unlike with Spongebob Squarepants (going on seventeen years!), the people behind Rugrats are happily counting their money, and when the public wants to see it again, they can go online, or maybe Nickelodeon will re-air it in syndication. A classic is a classic, and it shouldn’t be messed with.

4. Mrs. Doubtfire. There were rumors of a sequel for awhile, but along with other Robin Williams films, I think that’s off the table.

5. HairsprayEven though I love the old movie with a passion (and to some extent, the musical – the movie musical, meh), I wouldn’t bet on a Hairspray 2 anytime soon.

6. Murphy Brown. I heard a weird rumor one time that there was going to be some sort of Murphy Brown reboot, with someone like Julia Louis-Dreyfus or Jenna Elfman in the title role, but I think that once the ground’s been broken, you can’t call it virgin territory anymore. Plus, nobody can be Candice Bergen. Remember Rachel Blanchard as Cher in Clueless, the TV series? Thought so.

7. The Golden Girls. They tried it with Hot in Cleveland, and it shouldn’t be rebooted. Ever. It’s golden, hence the name.

8. The Cosby Show. I think it’s safe to say that this is forever dunzo, in any way shape or form.

9. Friends. Hopefully, it will be back eventually, but I feel like speculating on a return of friends is like asking your parents for a pet; the longer you ask, the more they’ll say “not now, Alexis, eat your chicken nuggets.”

10. Mean Girls. Other than the weird non-sequel sequel with that girl from Wizards of Waverly Place, I highly doubt it will come back. Every time there’s been talk of a reunion movie, either Tina Fey or Amy Poehler comes out with a new project. I think that we’ve moved on, and going back to revisit Cady Heron and Regina George just won’t work. They’ve already learned their lesson once, in a big way. It’s not going to happen, so stop trying to make it happen, Gretchen Weiners.

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2

Mr. Know-It-All

I am a pretty calm person when it comes to dealing with other people. I have a pretty thick skin and I can take it better than I can dish it out. But there are some things that people say and do that just rile me.

Like know-it-alls. Know-it-alls come in all types. There’s the child know-it-all, one part wunderkind, two parts annoying; the best friend know-it-all, which can be comforting at times but grating at others; the sibling know-it-all, known to be the cause of rivalry (but deny it to the death), and then there’s the worst type of know-it-all.

Yes, I’m talking about the know-it-all religious figure.

They’re the type of people who give your religion a bad name. For all the wonderful people I’ve encountered in my religious circle, unfortunately it’s the ones who act like bigshots who often have the most visibility. Not to say that others are shrinking violets, but the outspoken nature of the religious know-it-all overshadows all but the most bold of their compatriots.

Today, I had Shabbat lunch and third-meal at the home of a local rabbi, whose name I am not going to say, mostly because I can never remember what it is (one of the good things about rabbis – they all respond to the same name: rabbis). He’s a good guy, as most guys are, but sometimes there’s this smarmy aura about him, as if he imagines himself as the center of the universe. I’m not knocking his religious education, but one of the things about rabbis is that they shouldn’t put you down, or speak to you in a way that is a direct judgment on your character.

Lunch was fine, but at dinner, the topic of religiosity and religious parenting came up. I know I was kind of setting myself up here, but someone else at the table mentioned that her parents came from two very different religious backgrounds, neither of which were Orthodox, and I added in that my parents also came from two very different religious backgrounds, with one Orthodox and one not so much, causing Rabbi Know-it-all to say:

“It’s impossible to raise a kid with one Orthodox parent and one non-Orthodox parent. It doesn’t work. It’s too confusing.”

Oh boy…

“Mine raised me Orthodox,” said I.

“Tell me more,” says the rabbi.

Me:

<Regret>

So, I go through the basics of how my parents met, how they raised us, and how I am today vs. how I lived when I was in their house, ending with “…my parents taught me that Shabbat was important but that my studies were as well, and if that meant doing homework on holidays/Shabbat, so be it. ”

</Regret>

His response?

“Well, that’s a mixed message, you could just as easily go to a club on Shabbos and they’d never know. It’s like a gateway into breaking Shabbos ::smarmy smile::”

Um, wha?

First of all, you don’t know me. Okay, that’s more of a gut reaction and a copout. But seriously, second of all, you have never met parents, lived in my house, or experienced my childhood. Third, and the most hurtful of all, is that you’re basically telling me that I have no self-control and that my religious views/my parents’ are based on lies. Is that something a religious figure and role model should be saying? No. That’s what a petulant, nose-picking moron on the playground or in the hallway would say. Everyone judges and gets judged by others over the course of his/her life, and that’s fine, but keep it to yourself unless you’re certain that the person might have a serious problem, in which case talk to them privately about it, if it matters that much to you. Also, you don’t have a say in how religious I am, and when you put it out there like that, I’m less likely to believe things that you say in the future. And when you jump to conclusions, bring a parachute; you might knock yourself into a hole in the ground.

I thought I would have more to say on this topic, but I think I’ve said my piece for now.

There is one kind of know-it-all that I can tolerate, and that is my parents. Don’t mess with them; when you insult them, you insult me.

15 Life Lessons Learned From "As Told By Ginger"