1

A Very Full First Day of Being 32

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 32.

I opened my box from my parents this morning, and uncovered some chapstick, coupons, a Reader’s Digest, two crisp one-dollar bills, among some cookies and candy, most of which were promptly eaten. I managed to get to the post office and a not-too-terrible parking spot despite insane campus traffic. I shared my birthday cookies with my office floor mates before class. After class, I had sushi on the terrace and shared a cupcake and chat with Rini. 3 out of 4 students showed up for meetings today, and I got to see my APO brothers at meeting and go to dance class. Just found a geocache and now I’m at home, in bed, where I belong. Only a little more lesson planning to do before tomorrow, then off to bed.

Happy birthday to me 🙂

And yes, I did watch my favorite YouTube videos, and sang the Maude theme.

1

What A 31-derful World

It’s my last few hours of being 31 years old.

At the moment of my birth tomorrow, I will be sitting in class. Not teaching, but at least I’ll be surrounded by…uh…people who’ve known me for all of seven weeks. Maybe I’ll sneak some champagne in my coffee cup.

23

On Hanging Something Up

Wow, a normal-hours post! Something I wish I did more often, but inspiration doesn’t strike me in the middle of the day usually, and/or I have other things to do that I can’t do in the middle of the night, but since I a) got three full pages of writing done today for prelims (double spaced!), b) don’t have enough time to drag myself, my chair, and my books to the sixth floor to read out in the sunshine before I should head to the gym so I can get there before it closes, and c) have something to write about that’s not too long, here goes.

So, today is the birthday of one of my across-the-hall neighbors. Even though I already wished her a happy birthday on Facebook, I decided to tape a Happy Birthday note to her door, because I like taping nice notes to peoples’ doors. So I wrote the note, and then I couldn’t find any tape to put it up with.

Now, if you know me well, you know that I always have at least three rolls of tape in my apartment at any given time. I use packing tape when mailing stuff, Scotch tape for various things, and duct tape because who doesn’t need duct tape. And of course, one of the few time I actually need one of those items, I can’t find it.

So, I look around my apartment for tape, anything adhesive. I spot a box of Band-Aids on the counter and take one out. Then I realize…how ghetto would it be to hang something up with a band-aid? Probably very, very ghetto. I don’t want my neighbors to wonder exactly why I used a band-aid, and if it’s germy or gross, or whatever. The next thing I find is one of those rolls of stickers. This one has aliens on them. Yeah, that’s not that much less ghetto than a band-aid, even if it is kind of cute – I don’t want my neighbors, again, to be all…that guy, who doesn’t own any tape. BLASPHEMY.

Anyway, after scouring my apartment for way, way, waaaay too long, I see a roll of clear packing tape under the coffee table. I grab it, tear and oblong piece off, and then go and tape it to the door, just as the elevator opens and a girl comes out, and with my luck, it would be the birthday girl…

…I sprint down the hallway…

…but it wasn’t, it was one of her roommates. I poked my head out of the door, and she said, “was that you sprinting away from our door?”. “Yeah, it was me.” The birthday roommate, she told me, is on vacation in Hawaii for a few days. We had a good laugh about it.

And that’s how I tried so hard not to make it weird that I actually made it weird.

5

What Adults Are Thinking At Birthday Parties for 2-Year-Olds

What time is it starting? 4:00 PM? Okay, I can leave the house at 3:45.

Wait…do I bring a present? What if I do, and no one else does…won’t that be weird? What if I don’t, and everyone else does…am I heartless and cruel?

Screw it, it’s 3:57 and I’ve gotta head out. I guess I’ll be fashionably late.

Wait, two-year-olds don’t really know what fashion is. Do they even know what birthdays are yet?

4:10 PM. Okay, officially heading out the door.

Okay, I’m here, not the first and not the last.

Wow, there are no other children here except for the one who’s having a birthday, and ironically, the only one refusing to wear a party hat.

Thank goodness I’m not the only one without a gift.

Let’s see…who’s here?

Oh, he’s here. Ugh. He tries way too hard to be funny.

And there’s the chick in her thirties who’s sitting on the floor, pretending to get the birthday girl’s attention with toys, but secretly enjoying playing with dolls without being judged. To her knowledge, at least.

Some guy I don’t know, some girl I don’t know…are these friends of the parents or is their kid part of MENSA?

Oh look, Fat Libby’s here. Of course, she’d be here, she can sense an event with free food two miles away.

Speaking of food, what a spread.

Of course, no one’s eating, because we are adults and therefore always dieting, even though there are little signs saying “diet fruit punch,” “gluten-free pizza,” and “cupcakes made with free-range eggs.”

Except the salad, fruit, and veggie platter, which are gone in a flash, and the water pitcher that the hostess is constantly refilling.

Oh, look! The one couple with an actual child is here! This means it’s officially a birthday party for a child and not a bunch of adults sitting around in party hats without alcohol.

Cake time! Let’s sing! And again! And again!

Adorable cake, let’s cut it!

The birthday girl gets the first slice. Also getting cake: her face, her hair, her dress, the floor, the chair she’s sitting on, her mom’s blouse.

Five minutes later…no one else is having cake. Of course.

Oh, wait a minute…here comes Fat Libby. Go figure.

Two slices of the giant cake gone.

Time for presents!

Here, have this card, even though you can’t read it yet. Total waste of $3.95. He could’ve scribbled on a piece of construction paper and it wouldn’t make a difference.

Sucker.

Wow, toys! What a surprise! Yes, you can play with them now, in the middle of the room, with all of us watching. That’s not at all creepy.

Oh look, the adults are playing with the toys. The child is elsewhere, exploring the boxes and bags they came in.

Okay, it’s been like thirty-five minutes, party’s over, can I go now?

“Happy second birthday” ::hug and kiss the adorable birthday girl:: ::chorus of awwws::

Well, that’s over. Now back to my regular schedule of doing nothing.

11

Just Some Fixin’s

Today was a pretty blah day here in Baltimore: not too cold, but not sunny at all, kinda like the last few days. I’ve been basically going back and forth between the car dealership (new keys, tire pressure check, help me out with features, blah blah blah), and doing errands (haircut, bank, post office, etc.) and attempting to read at various Starbucks around town but inevitably getting interrupted by a phone call or something.

So, I decided to fix two posts that were bugging me, and I will link you to them presently:

First, my birthday post from this year. Two of the videos were not showing up, now you can watch all five of my favorite happy YouTube videos.

Second, my trip to Trempealeau County, WI and Winona, MN with Rahul. Posted originally on June 1, 2014, but I must have gotten distracted because the post ended in the middle of a sentence.

Please enjoy and take care while I brainstorm something interesting to post about for the coming week.