4

Call Your Doctor if Your Annoyance Lasts for More Than Four Hours

Maybe it’s a function of watching reruns on Hallmark every night, but I’m getting so tired of seeing commercial after commercial advertising medicines. All with phone numbers and “please call your doctor.”

I mean, what is this all about? These commercials have been around for so long, and yet I don’t think I’ve met a single person who got on a medication after seeing it on a TV commercial. Well, I don’t think I’d know, but I feel like the kind of person who’d have done that is also the kind of person who would tell you about it.

Plus, there’s that gentle female voice reading you a laundry list of symptoms that sounds like a graduation ceremony at a private school for diseases. The commercial I saw tonight that got me thinking about this was for some anti-diabetic medicine, whose list of symptoms was so long and rushed that it took up the majority of the airtime. And what’s with all the background stock footage? A couple walking on a beach? An old man and a little boy fishing off a pier? A girl at her first piano recital? What do any of those have to do with anything?

Also, I hope you caught SNL last week, there was a bit starring Octavia Spencer, Leslie Jones, and Sasheer Zamata on medicine names. Sasheer played a character called Seasonique with a son named Dayquil. Who comes up with these things?

Anyway, now I’ve got a headache. Please excuse me while I get something to treat it. And by something, I mean a nice cold drink.

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12

1300 Followers and Useless Commercials

Most commercials are useless, but some are just particularly and spectacularly so.

For example, I saw a commercial tonight for Kleenex. I mean…it’s not a startup from Wauwatosa, it’s freaking Kleenex. Most people don’t even realize that it is a copyrighted band name, like Q-Tip or Jacuzzi. If my mother were ever a drag queen, her name would be Nita Pisa-Kleenex for the amount of times she said it growing up. I understand advertising for a television show, a new brand of cereal, or even a used car dealership, but seriously…Kleenex. Not that hard of a sell. Like cheese, milk, cotton…

Oh, and of course, welcome to my 1300th follower, Little Green Raven! Can I get to 1400 by April? May?