I think my friend Katie posted this link on Facebook, and I just couldn’t let it go. The capital letters are annoying but it’s all true.
Hello loneliness, my old friend. If you know me, you know that I pretty much am the embodiment of loneliness. For all intents and purposes, I’m a shut-in who only emerges to work and occasionally dance.
I looked at this list, and in random order, here are my reactions to the bullet points:
- Maybe not Neflix, but YouTube.
- Not exactly, but yes, in other ways.
- Oh my gosh, yes!
- I have no idea what this means.
- I hope not. I don’t think so.
- Usually the opposite happens for me, but I can see it happening to other people.
- Not applicable to me.
- Absolutely. You have no idea.
- Sadly, yes, at times.
- Exactly, exactly, exactly, especially in the digital age.
- I actually cannot do this.
- Yes, no matter how much it sucks and no matter how much anyone tells me so.
- I believe this, but usually I have a hard time doing it.
- This is hard for anyone to do, but once I do it, I sound/feel/look stupid.
- Yeah, pretty much.
That would be today. Thursday. My classes this semester are Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Friday, I have Shabbat, and on the weekends, I do weekend-type things like shopping and sometimes being social. So that leaves Thursday. Most people would enjoy the fact that they have one day a week with absolutely no regularly scheduled commitments, but I am not one of them. From Sunday to Wednesday, I pull out all the stops, reading like a fiend, writing responses, taking notes and taking names. By the time Wednesday night rolls around, I am exhausted but relieved that another academic week is done. I make a promise to myself that I’ll get a jump on next week’s reading this week by starting first thing Thursday morning…and then it doesn’t happen. What does happen?
- Wake up.
- Remember that there’s nothing in my plans today, so sleep a little more.
- Get up, make a leisurely breakfast, and a hot or iced coffee drink.
- Head to the couch to catch up with Mental Floss, Ellen DeGeneres, and Jenna Marbles.
- Promise myself I won’t waste the day.
- Proceed to read twelve BuzzFeeds, stalk some friends on Facebook, play a round of Word Strips, check my blog stats (welcome, Uganda!), do the New York Times crossword puzzle.
- Promise myself that I’m done.
- Remember that I never get to watch Survivor since I’m in class while it’s on, so catch up on that.
- Convince myself that if I don’t leave the apartment now I won’t leave until dance class (By this time, we’re in the late afternoon).
- Head out for “lunch” since I “just ate breakfast” (at 10 AM).
- Do I have enough time to get to the gym? Maybe I’ll go.
- How about the library? But I have too many books. Oh wait, I need to do some research for that paper. You know what, I should just write the paper. Let’s go home and think about that.
- Dance class.
- Get home, unwind after a busy day of nothing. Contemplate studying but usually opt for YouTube.
- Look at the time, frantically make dinner, call parents, and think of a blog post.
- Compose and post said blog, and promise self that it’s early bedtime tonight.
- Proceed to stay up all night (well, 3 at the latest) doing – guess what? – nothing but the Internet, and usually end up feeling bad for myself.
- Head to bed with a book, and read about five pages before telling myself that I need to get some sleep.
And that’s how I spend my Thursdays, including today. My sad life is sad. And even though I got nine hours of sleep last night, I’m still exhausted. Get it together, Jacob, because your palm is going to have a date with your face come Sunday night.