18

Emily Pudding

That’s So Jacob Presents:

That’s So Nom: Treats and Eats from Jacob’s Completely Amateur Kitchen

Episode 6: Emily Pudding

You’re probably saying to yourself, “well that’s an unusual title for a post.” And I am here to say…that yes, it is. Lost night, a friend of mine on Facebook posted a meme game describing your burlesque name: the name of your first pet + the last thing you ate. I have never had any pets, other than a few fish whose names I’ve forgotten (I think at one point I had a Lars, an Abigail, and a Goldie, or something like that) but in seventh grade, I had a plant who I called Emily. I also had two cacti around the same time, called Lenny and Squiggy due to their resemblances to David Lander (Lenny was tall, spiky and skinny) and Michael McKean (Squiggy was a short, fuzzy, round one). I can’t remember what type of plant Emily was – she might have been a flower, or some ivy – but maybe this is a sign that I should go and buy another plant and name her Emily. And the pudding refers to an unusual pudding dessert/treat/thing I got from one of my favorite recipe sites, The Picky Eater Blog, run by Anjali.

The recipe is for Chocolate Mousse with Raspberries, but I couldn’t find any raspberries (not the season) and it ended up more like a pudding, so it shall hereby be known as Emily Pudding. Here’s how to make it.

  1. Toss a half cup of chia seeds, 1/4 cup of chocolate PROTEIN powder (fitness for the win), 1 cup of milk, and 1 squeeze of honey into your grandmother’s ancient blender.
  2. Blend a little, and when the machine starts to rattle because it forgot how to blender, turn it off, give it a stir, scrape the excess chia off the sides, and blend again.
  3. Chill for 15 minutes. In the fridge. The gloppy mixture, not you.
  4. Scrape it into a bowl, add in 1 cup of fat-free Greek yogurt, and mix it with a mixer.
  5. Notice that it’s a little more chewy than creamy, and tastes a bit off, so add some sprinkles of Hershey’s unsweetened cocoa powder.
  6. Finish most of it yourself while watching TV.

Serves 1 hungry Ph.D. and 2 girls across the hall who enjoy pudding.

This is Emily Blunt eating pudding.

6

Quinoa-Wa-Wa-Tusi

And let it be known that as of yesterday, That’s So Jacob has hopped on the quinoa train.

Yes, it’s another new recipe. It required a bit more effort than normal, and had mixed results, but it made an awful lot of food, more than I thought it would, for which I am grateful. This recipe comes from Emily at A Nutritionist Eats (not, as I thought it was originally, A Nutrition Is Teats).

That’s So Jacob Presents:

That’s So Nom: Treats and Eats from Jacob’s Completely Amateur Kitchen

Episode 5: Quinoa Black Bean Salad

Step 1: Look at recipes online.

Step 2: Gather ingredients.

Step 3: How does one properly wash quinoa? Isn’t it going to get boiled anyway?

Step 4: Put 1 cup of quinoa into a pot of water. Note that it doesn’t look like an awful lot of quinoa, so throw in a little more. Bring to a boil.

Step 5: While that’s happening, combine your olive oil, honey, lime, and shallots, and whisk.

Step 6: Take the lid off the quinoa, and realize HOLY HELL THAT’S A LOT OF QUINOA. Drain quinoa and dump into whatever bowls you can find

Step 7: Toss the honey-lime vinaigrette with the quinoa and try not to get too much of your quinoa stuck to your hands.

Step 7: Drain black beans, put on quinoa. Mix. Enjoy some quinoa!

Step 8: Wonder why you bought green onions and cotija.

Step 9: Go to the Internet, and sigh in relief that they are the final two ingredients, so chop those onions and put them in, as well as the cotija that you clearly bought way too much of.

Step 10: Enjoy the spare quinoa, put the rest in tupperware containers.

The recipe says to chill overnight, but I ate some while it was still warm and it was flavorful and delicious. I only had a few forkfuls, then chilled the rest. I just had some right now, and it’s not terrible but I think it tasted a little better warm. Oh well, at least I have enough quinoa black bean salad for the rest of eternity. Off to find some new recipes, maybe for chicken or fish this time.

2

LBBBB

One of my summer resolutions was to try out some new recipes, hopefully healthy ones, and so last night I tried my hand at this LBBBB, AKA a Chipotle-style black bean burrito bowl, thanks to Anjali of The Picky Eater Blog.

That’s So Jacob Presents:

That’s So Nom: Treats and Eats from Jacob’s Completely Amateur Kitchen

Episode 4: Little Black Bean Burrito Bowl

Step 1: Look at recipes online.

Step 2: Salivate at the pretty pictures, then get your ass up and out to the store to buy ingredients. Except…cottage cheese, no thank you (don’t hate me, I just never liked it!)

Step 3: Come home and procrastinate until dinnertime.

Step 4: Chop 1 onion, 1 yellow pepper, and 1/2 jalapeno pepper, and saute in canola oil. Sprinkle garlic powder on top because I don’t have a garlic press and garlic powder works just fine.

Step 5: Sprinkle on a dash of cumin and a dash of chili powder, then dump the black beans on top. Boil for 10-15 minutes, realizing that if you put the salmon in the oven for 20 minutes at the same time, you can just turn the stove off when the timer hits 5:00. SMART!

Step 6: Heat some rice and corn in the microwave.

Step 7: Take bowl. Put in rice, then mixture, then corn. Sprinkle on cilantro and salsa

Step 8: Enjoy your protein filled deliciousness, and get halfway through before realizing that you bought diced tomatoes but didn’t use them, but it tastes good anyway.

Makes 2-3 dinner-sized portions. Refrigerates very nicely.

I’m currently eating my second portion for dinner, and am happy to say that it’s just as delicious as the first. So, consider this a success! Thanks, food blog!

And hooray for six continent day! Welcome to North America (Canada and USA), South America (Guyana), Europe (UK, Netherlands, and France), Asia (India, Philippines, and Qatar), Africa (Sudan), and Oceania (Fiji). Come back soon, I’m nice!

0

Tears-Free Turkey Burgers

New apartment, new feature:

That’s So Nom: Notes from Jacob’s Kitchen

Episode 1: Tears-Free Turkey Burgers

This is not what they will look like.

  1. Buy ingredients in three separate grocery stores on three separate trips because you’ve already forgotten what’s in it.
  2. Call mother, confirm ingredients and instructions.
  3. Wait until the sell-by date, then prepare to turkey-burger.
  4. Thaw turkey in a large bowl and preheat oven.
  5. Watch a podcast and then return to bowl. If the middle is still frozen, just pour water onto it.
  6. Realize that it’s probably a little soggy, so attempt to strain the water out, in vain.
  7. Mix in onion soup, mustard, and a few squirts of ketchup.
  8. Stir until it smells divine.
  9. Form six patties, place in the preheated oven.
  10. Realize five minutes later that you have somewhere to be, so turn oven off and go to meeting.
  11. Stay longer than planned at the meaning having fun conversations.
  12. Return to apartment.
  13. Broil the six patties, turning when firm, hoping that they’re still good.
  14. Take out patties, and make sure to not drop the first one on the floor like I did.
  15. Enjoy five little turkey burgers with a dash of salsa.

Recipe makes 10 burgers total.

The reason for the title?

Even though this week has been great and relaxing, it’s still nerve wracking that school is starting up again, next week. I feel so not ready. I was crying a little inside today, knowing that this is the last week that it’ll be easy. My apartment is still a mess and things just feel weird. Blogging has been helping, marginally, but cooking a healthy, somewhat-grown-up dinner for myself helped a lot.

Even after a shower, I still smell like turkey.