3

Sticker Suck

So, yesterday, I was out running errands, and I parked my car in the parking lot of a nearby building. I come back, and there’s a GIANT yellow sticker on the windshield, saying something like “WARNING, you have parked in a private area, your license plate has been recorded, and next time you will be ticketed and/or booted at your expense.”

W. T. F.???

First of all, I was parked next to the visitor parking sign. NEXT to it.

Second, I was only there for an hour.

Third, who does that? Put a card under my windshield or something. What purpose does it serve you to put a giant sticker on my driver’s side window, out of which I have to see in order to operate my car, which I can’t do because of this opaque yellow rectangle obstructing my vision? Why? Why do you have to be that heartless?

I ended up driving around for the next few hours with it on, trying to peer around it while driving because this thing was not coming off with my fingernails. Eventually, I had to stop at a mechanic, who offered me a razorblade. Thank goodness that worked without ruining the glass. I still have an unsightly square of residue on my window, but…enough. People, why you gotta be so awful?

1

What Fresh Hell Can This Be: Stars

I haven’t been this inspired to write a blog post in a while, but here I am, and surprise, a rant. Well, more like a curiosity. Or a facepalm. You be the judge.

Last night, I was searching for some activities to use with my class today to teach the lesson of the day, humility. So, I do some Googling. Usually when I search for Thursday activities with ethical themes (truth, integrity, patience) I get homeschooling websites and blogs, almost always Christian. Sometimes, the activities are adaptable for a Jewish school, but if they include something from the New Testament, I click away. I came across this interesting website.

At first glance, it didn’t seem so bad. Then I scrolled down to read some of the details of the activity, and here’s an…interesting one.

Wear Humility: Cut a large star out of yellow or gold posterboard and tie yarn on it so it can be placed around a child’s neck. Explain that wearing the yellow star represents being prideful and place it around the child’s neck. Then, take off the yellow star and give the child a small star sticker to wear and explain that the smaller star represents being humble.

Image result for fran drescher

Ummmmmmmmmmm…yeah. About that.

Obviously, Stacy Zeiger, the author of this article, has either never taken a history course or has not spent enough time around Jews. For those of you who are unaware as to why this is a problem (and Ms. Zeiger, if you’re reading this), allow me to explain.

So, one time, there was this thing called World War II. During this time, the Holocaust occurred, and six million European Jews were killed. But before they were sent off to concentration camps, while they were still allowed to live in cities and towns, they were forced to wear identification in the form of a yellow star, usually saying Jude or Juif inside it, depending on the country and its language. They looked like this:

So, fast forward to now, where Stacy Zeiger is living in New Jersey and putting large yellow stars on children, as a negative symbol. If there ever was a time to clap back, it’s now.

Image result for oh no you didn't jewish

This ::clap:: does ::clap:: not ::clap:: fly ::clap::

Especially not in a Jewish school. I can only imagine this lesson being done in the classroom, and then Grandma coming to pick up little Sarah for a dentist appointment, only to see a room full of children wearing yellow stars symbolizing “excessive pride.” I think you’d need a paramedic before a dentist for that reaction.

I’m not saying that gold stars are bad. I have star stickers, some are yellow, and I use them sometimes. On papers, though. Not on humans. A yellow star on an essay says one thing; a yellow star on a person says quite another. I mean, seriously? Really? You thought this was a good idea to publish? On a website? For anyone to read?

I decided to look up a little more on this Stacy character, and I have to say, everything I’ve found is just. so. awful. Not in an evil way, but…she just sounds terrible. She lives in Bridgeton, New Jersey, even though she is originally from Ohio with degrees from Miami University and Ohio State. She’s a Christian, which goes without saying. According to her Twitter, she’s “Mother of the Year.” Her Amazon.com page is full of self-published books with crappily-designed covers.

Humility is an important lesson, but yeah, this is probably one of the dumbest ways anyone’s thought to go about it.

A gold star for you, Stacy.

Image result for fran drescher shade

11

On Giving Others a Reality Check When They Deserve It (or Why It’s Hard For Me to Help Myself)

Today, I had a 10 AM appointment with University Health Services, so I bundled myself up with all my supplies for the day – books, papers, notebooks, laptop, projector (that didn’t work), coffee cup (which I forgot to fill with coffee), and lunch (which I forgot to include utensils) – and headed out in the freezing cold. I got there a few minutes late, mostly because of the slow elevator ride to the 7th floor because it’s Madison and elevators are slow here.

I walked in to see a younger, Asian-looking man, and a slightly older redheaded lady at the desk. The man waves me over to check me in. I give him my name and ID number, and he types it in and then has a funny look on his face. So then this happens:

ME (to the guy): You look confused.

REDHEADED LADY (to me): You look late.

ME (to Redhead): You look like you’re about to get a bad performance evaluation in patient care quality.

Ouch, a little harsh, but that was the best I could come up with. Either that or “mind’ya business, okay honey?”

Anyway.

I have a seat, and a few minutes later, the lady I’m coming to see comes out to get me and walks me back to her office. When I get back to her office and we sit down, the lady goes, “Yeah, so she [Redhead] just came back here and told me that she screwed up and she’s really sorry she said that. I told her that we all make mistakes but need to keep our personalities in check and out of the office.”

That’s just about the first time in my whole entire life that I’ve ever been told that someone was sorry for how they acted towards me.

Oddly enough, depression is one of the things that I struggle with, but I felt great. Life’s like that, I guess.

I’ve been getting better about getting to places on time, especially stricter things like meetings, appointments, and classes, but in my opposite-side-of-the-table life, I really don’t care that much if people come late to my classes (don’t tell my students that though please, thank you!). People’s lives are people’s lives, and if they’re human, they probably either a) have a reason, and feel bad about it, or b) don’t have a reason, and feel bad about it, so adding a wisecrack or a criticism doesn’t really add anything. .I don’t see it as an issue of respect or whatever; if you’re late, you’re late, and it’s on you, and whatever-the-hell because we’re all on this earth and doing the best we can and experiencing the passing of time in the same damn way every single day.

So, whatever side of the table you’re on, just don’t be a dick about it. Things happen and they don’t always involve you…and yes, I’m talking to you too, redheaded receptionist lady. You’ve got a case of the Wednesdays.

10

Thursday Night Sociopaths

My night was just ruined thanks to two separate complete sociopaths who did the same thing to me. 

1. Waiting in line, grabbed me by the waist to get around me.

2. Drunkenly walked up to where I was seated and put her drunk head on my back.

Never again am I going to out for a late night slice of pizza again. At the very least, carry out. 

God. 

My back is still tingling. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight. 

12

Go See A Play, Damn You

I’ve been saying “no, no, no, God, God, God, no, no, no,” a lot these days. No, it’s not a new form of morse code or something, but it’s a reaction to the asinine nature of some people. And by some, I mean most, and by most, I mean people I’ve been in contact with.

So there’s this play that I’ve been working on that’s coming up soon. As in, we open on Friday. I’m really proud of everyone, it’s a great show; great script, great cast, everything. So I’ve been recommending it. While I haven’t been ambushing people with tickets, I haven’t shied away from asking if/when people are coming.

And from so many people, I just get the same insipid remarks.

“Will it be on tape?”

“Can I watch it online?”

“Is somebody going to tape it?”

No, no, no, and NO. The answer is NO, damn you. Get out of your house and go see a play. Any goddamn play, it doesn’t have to be mine, just go see any play at all, and then ask me that question again. This is why I love theatre, damn it. It’s live, it’s exciting, and you can’t fast forward through it, you have to be in the moment, there’s that group bonding thing and that whole being social thing and getting out of your comfort zone and into a comfortable seats (and these seats are really plushy and nice and all that). The world does not cater to you, and if it was on tape, it would not be theatre, it would be television, which it is not.

Go see the damn play. Have a fucking amazing time. You’ll thank me later.

Oh, and by the way, who uses tape anymore?

Thanks for reading this rant. I’ve had several five-continent days over the last few, so I’m going to post who visited today in hopes that Africa shows up tomorrow. So, welcome to North America (Canada, USA, and Jamaica), South America (Chile), Europe (UK, Serbia and Ukraine), Asia (Israel, India, Malaysia, Thailand, Hong Kong and Taiwan) and Oceania (Australia and Papua New Guinea).

1

I Had One More

Today, I came across this list of 7 Ways to Be Insufferable on Facebook.

It reminded me that about a year ago, I wrote this post and then this one a month later, on the exact same topic.

However, in that time span, people and their Facebook status updates have become no less annoying, in fact, quite the opposite. But just for kicks, I wanted to see how much this person’s list of 7 and my list of 8 align.

Mine were:

  1. The Facebook Guru
  2. The Prayer Warrior
  3. “My Life is Awesome”
  4. The Serial Liker
  5. The Social Commentator
  6. The Jehovah’s Gamer
  7. The Activist
  8. The False Sense of Intimacy Person.

Theirs:

  1. The Brag (and various forms thereof)
  2. The Cryptic Cliffhanger
  3. The Literal Status Update
  4. The Inexplicably Public-Private Message
  5. The Out-Of-Nowhere Oscar Acceptance Speech
  6. The Incredibly Obvious Opinion
  7. The Step Towards Enlightenment.

Okay, so we have a lot in common. My #1 is his #7, and my #2 is his #6. My #3 is his #1 and #5; just for the record, mine are in no particular order but I’d put that as the top annoyance any day. My #4-7 don’t really match up with any of his, but my #8 has elements in his #2, #3, and #4.

So, now that we agree on four out of his seven, there are three left. And honestly, I don’t really care about #2 and #3.

For The Cryptic Cliffhanger, if it’s someone I don’t care about, I just ignore it. If it’s someone whom I’ve seen recently or about whom I deeply care, I’ll comment, but usually I’ll text or call that person. I’ve actually done it a few times in the recent past, and it’s yielded good results; sometimes those people just want someone to care. The Literal Status Update? Not even on my radar screen. It’s like…good for you? And for The Inexplicably Public-Private Message, two thoughts. One: people do make mistakes like that, whatever. Two: if you have to check yourself and your Facebook friends in somewhere and brag about it, how much time are you really spending with them?

So there you have it, a complete comparison.

But mine came first and you have one less, one less, problem than me.