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Lights

So I find myself on the last night of Hanukkah. The festival of lights, the time of the miracles.

This past week has been a whirlwind – travel, drama, grad school, drama, emotions, and drama.

But today…

  • I presented my poster this morning.
  • I read my paper as well.
  • I got my car fixed, and even at a discount for making me wait.
  • I got to rehearsal on time.
  • I got through rehearsal, no script, no huge mistakes.
  • I got to spend the last moments of the last night of Hanukkah watching nine beautiful flames dance to the beat of Ellie Goulding’s “Lights.”

It’s the miracle of Hanukkah.

“calling, calling, calling me home…”

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Anecdote on a Downward Spiral turned Mini-Crisis

One of those things that gets me down is when things go wrong. That kind of gets everyone down, of course, but making things seem like the absolute worst seems like something that habitually happens.

So, the mini-crisis of the day?

I flew home to Maryland. That’s not the crisis (well, except for the overpriced airport pizza from Wolfgang Puck, the mocha frappuccino I spilled on the floor of the Duty Free, and coming out in departures instead of arrivals for some reason, confounding my parents). After four hours in the air, it was time for four hours in the car; first to Chevy Chase to say hi and bye to all the family members I haven’t seen in a year or more (sans my sister who I saw in March, and my cousin Jenn who randomly showed up in Madison a month ago), we turned the car around, crossing Maryland and Delaware and back into Maryland again, arriving at the beach house in Ocean City, where I sit typing this, and no further along on my paper (crap crap crap..::hand to forehead::) After a disappointing Thanksgiving dinner (deli sandwiches, donuts, and some drinks purchased at the Royal Farms in Bridgeville, Delaware) eaten mostly in the car, we got here and as I went to show my mother my brand new iPad…boom. Dark. Dead. Not turning on. I have a paper to do…WTF. Dad looks up the closest Apple store, and though there are computer stores here in town, the two closest Apple stores are in Annapolis, MD, and Newark, DE. And it’s also Thanksgiving. Dad says that we can go back to Baltimore tomorrow or the next day, and I can even go back to Madison if need be. Then, I turn on the TV, and we find out that the cable’s been turned off because it’s winter.

At this point, my mood is just sour. I felt bad for leaving my laptop at home and having nothing to write my paper with but a pen and paper. I can’t do anything but sit on the couch and scrunch my eyes. No crying, fortunately, but I just felt disconnected. Lost. How am I going to get my paper done? I’m not, and I’m going to fail the class, and then fail out of grad school, and then…

So I called Rachel for help. She suggested holding the two buttons on the iPad to reset it. WALLA.

Things immediately get better. My face loosens up, my jaw unclenches, my appetite returns, and now I can do my paper. Or at least find other things to distract me. We can stay here in Ocean City until Saturday night/Sunday morning as planned, and all is right with the world. I still have a paper to do, but now I can actually do it.

This story had no point but at least now I can rest easier tonight knowing that things are working. Also, I’m so mentally drained I can’t think of anything creative to write about, and I haven’t even finished a book so I can’t even do a book review.

In other news, my mother just told me that my father woke her up at 5:00 this morning with a gigantic fart, after which she couldn’t fall back asleep. More details as the story breaks.

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Thanksgivukkah

Tonight was the first night of Hanukkah, and also the night before Thanksgiving. Something that hasn’t happened since 1918 and won’t again until 2070.

It’s two holidays merged into one giant superholiday.

I love holidays, so this is great for me, but also signifies that my past two weeks of chaos are not quite over yet.

Today was kind of nice, in a weird way. I slept way later than I wanted, but finally got out of bed in the…early afternoon…to finish my proposal and send it off, followed by a shopping event to the post office, Tires Plus, Marshalls, World Market, and CVS. I emerged with an oil change, a gift for my sister, a coffee cup, a pair of boots, a mini-panettone (because it’s NOT Hanukkah without Italian Christmas cake, good golly gosh), a bottle of moscato (which I saved $2 on), posterboard, a box of cookies, toothbrushes, and contact solution. Then I went home and Kat came over to light candles, which was really very nice. I’m glad she could come over and I hope she had a good time.

Tomorrow morning, I will fly from Madison to Baltimore via Chicago, from whence I will go to my cousins’ place in Chevy Chase for a Thanksgivukkah hi-and-bye and then off to Ocean City for a few days, then BACK to Baltimore so we can go see a play at CENTERSTAGE (and hopefully stop off at BookThing!) before I come back to Madison on my newly changed flight so I can make it to rehearsal on time. Then, two rehearsals, invited dress, and then we open. Oh, and through it all, Hanukkah is happening, so there’s that, and I have 2 papers to write and a poster to create. And I have friends I want/need to call/text for Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Shabbat/both/none of the above.

I would normally say “game on,” but this feels different. I feel like I should have some sort of break from everything. Yes, I’ll be home, but I’ll also be dealing with the parents, memorizing lines, researching, and hopefully writing at least 23 pages of stuff.

And I still have to pack, do prelim. research, sweep, mop, and fold laundry (yeah right).

Crap.

So I’ll substitute “here goes nothing.”