Against the Wind

New month, new apartment, new school, new Hebrew year…basically, lots of new stuff. Even though September is in the middle of the year, it gets a surprising amount of street cred for being a middling month. Most schools, including mine, start in September. Rosh Hashanah usually happens sometime in September, beginning the Jewish year. Overall, it’s like a post new year New Years, or maybe a per new year New Years.

Although things are starting to even out, I still feel like I’m walking against a stiff wind. Every time I want to do something, something else needs to be done before it. And then when I do it, two other things come up to do.

After two weeks of living in what basically a cardboard box in the sky, the actual cardboard boxes showed up this morning, all fourteen, plus the furniture. Only casualties were a lamp and my television, which wasn’t properly packed in Texas. My empty apartment was suddenly full, with the previously clean and spartan spare room transformed into a giant walk in closet.

I feel like I haven’t done anything constructive in the past two weeks here. So far I’ve gotten my school ID card, bus pass, health insurance, employment forms, wireless router, parking pass out of the way. One more day, then class. I still need to assess my books and see what I need to buy, and also stock up on food and other necessities because who knows when I’ll have the time or desire to shop once school starts. Then figure out where to put my books and everything, and get back on an eating/sleeping/exercise routine.

The wind is blowing against me but in times like this, I just have to remember that not only is my sole option to face it head on, but that I have a small breeze at my back.


My Life At This Moment, Unfiltered

I couldn’t think of much to post today. I had an idea about posting something about reality TV based on something I saw on the TV at the gym, but I’ll save that for another time.

I just had another nighttime binge. I was doing so well, and then all of a sudden, BAM. I buy and eat sugary treats.

At least I ran three miles today.

Overall, not a fantastic day, but if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that I have to accept it. Accepting my day and the choices I make is a part in helping me feel better about myself.


My Life at this Moment (Unfiltered)

I feel like it’s time for another unfiltered ramble-post about absolutely nothing in particular; just some freewriting to help me collect and compartmentalize my thoughts.

I’ve been an abject failure when it comes to getting places on time. Gym, appointments, rehearsals, meetings, social engagements – you name it, I’ve made it but been late. It hasn’t caused any serious problems but it’s a burden on my soul, I guess, and I’m tired of being late. No matter how hard I try, it always seems to happen…

Today was pretty sweet as well – I took Kate to Target to pick up some things, then had rehearsal in Baytown, where I delivered a lecture, which I was prepared for. Right after I came in, Jim called on me to pitch my lecture during a 10 minute break in the singing action, and I had my notes right there, got through all of them, got a round of applause and a high-five from Mr. Director himself. It was light, breezy, and refreshing. New motto: I’d rather be late and prepared than on time and absolutely clueless.

I felt so sore this morning, so I didn’t exercise today for the first time all week. I think it was good. I miss training though, I can’t wait for next Wednesday at 4. As far as body image goes – yeah, it’s not happening. Reality TV is sapping that feeling from me, I just can’t seem to shake it.

Why am I getting “End-of-Life” and “Right To Die” as my recommended tags? Not just creepy and depressing, but cringeworthy.

I had a series of incredibly vivid dreams last night, most of which scared me half to death. The first was about crashing my dad’s car in Ontario – a red car with Ohio license plates that looks nothing like my dad’s car. All subsequent dreams involved this fact, which freaked me out to the max. One was a dream about being late for an interview, and another was about waking up the day of the show having done no dramaturgy at all, and people being like “that’s just the way it is.” Woke up late, again. Surprise!

On the plus side, I was able to whip up tonight’s lecture in a serious jiffy after screwing around on Facebook and BuzzFeed all day. It took me only about a half hour. Maybe less. My fingers were on fire. Only one picture but I’ll make up for it. Part II on Monday.

No scrolling up and reflecting! Stop that Jacob.

So, next up for me (to-do list):

  • Project for J
  • Post on the dramaturgy listserv
  • Work on lecture for Monday
  • Catch up on HaMerotz LaMillion
  • Don’t let body image affect me so much (like that’ll happen)
  • Eat more healthy meals (and eat more in general – I can’t keep depriving myself of foods based on time of day, body image, etc)
  • Put more stuff in the social calendar
  • Finish some pleasure reading books
  • Think about more posts

I’m getting distracted. This post is over. Good night and good luck.


Things I Like (and do not like – the first post of many)

Hi. My name is Jacob. These are some things that I like. Today’s topic is:

Travel. I like car rides, bus rides, plane rides, anything that goes “go” goes for me. It’s almost midnight on May 29, 2013 so go figure. Why do I love travel? I like to make friends when traveling, hear stories, and tell stories. I like seeing new places and emerging from magical portals into distant lands. Although this past week alone took me to Houston, Austin, Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Lafayette, Galveston, Chicago, and now Madison, I mostly enjoyed it all. It’s like God scooped me up and then put me back down in a different location. This is one of many magical aspects of God (more on God later). I like maps and navigating. I like road signs and taking pictures of them. All of them. I like playing the license plate game and I have very strict rules for doing so, including no truck plates, and you must be on the highway to start. Probably more but I’ll think of them later. I like walking around in a city, but knowing where I am. There is little greater satisfaction that getting to a place correctly and with little fuss. When my mom and I went to the Bahamas, we spent an amazing day walking around Nassau, wasting absolutely no time because I planned out our route, step by step. She still talks about how much fun that day was – we got everything done that we wanted/needed, didn’t die in the heat, and moved with purpose, enjoying every moment because we had a plan. I like learning and communicating with different languages. Or at least trying. I don’t care if I look stupid because if I try, usually it works better than if I had started off in English. I have done this with Spanish, Quechua, German, Czech, Slovak, Hindi, Greek, Turkish, and Hebrew. In Cyprus, I got mistaken for a local at a party in a cafe. In Prague, I went into a restaurant speaking Czech. This guy asked me if I came from America and I said yes. Then, he was all, so why aren’t you speaking English to me? It’s because we’re in Prague, I’m assuming that you’re a Czech speaker, so I’m trying my best, ASSHOLE. I like being the mysterious traveler who everyone wonders about. Sometimes I am chipper while traveling, sometimes I am brooding and moody, but rarely. I like getting gas in odd places – usually there’s a geocache there (more on geocaching later), there’s always an interesting little service station store building thing to go into, and you get a receipt proving that you were once in this place. This past week, I have gotten gas in Houston, TX; Elgin, TX; Westlake, LA; Lafayette, LA; and La Marque, TX. I love driving and feeling the open road beneath me. I also like sitting in the passenger seat without the pressure of doing the driving, and having the ability to read or relax. I like to use the GPS and watch the earth move as I do, or vice versa. I like to pretend that I am on the Amazing Race when doing things like catching trains and buses and planes and buying tickets and such. I like trying local foods and new foods, but sometimes I just want a sandwich. I like watching airport flight boards. I like exploring the airport. I like to take pictures; scenic, side-selfie, or silly. I like to blend in with the scenery; if I get mistaken for a local, my mission has been accomplished. I like to travel with a bag on my back containing everything I will need; it makes me feel so mobile and free.

I do not like backseat or passenger seat drivers. When I want your opinion, I’ll ask. Even if/when I do screw up, I have a pretty solid mental compass and can generally right myself within a reasonable amount of time without your help. I do not like GPS units that tell you turn-by-turn directions. You, disembodied voice from a tiny device made in China, have not driven down this road before so don’t act like you know. I do not like paying insane amounts of money for gas. I do not like road food and prefer to pack a bag or cooler full of drinks and snacks. I do not like expensive airport food. I do not like rolling bags, except when I know exactly where I’ll be going and what I’ll be doing. For example, last summer’s trip to Europe. I brought my huge camping backpack, and my dad and sister brought rolling bags. Although there are lovely wood or granite floors in most places in Germany and the Czech Republic, there are also lovely cobblestones and plenty of lovely stairs. It was amazing to be able to walk with hands unencumbered…but then not so nice to look down at the Rolling Bag crew at the bottom of the stairs which I just conquered with actual leaps and bounds. I do not like to stick out like a sore thumb – there are subtle ways to play tourist. I do not like people who get to go everywhere all the time. They make me annoyed and jealous. Newyorklosangelesmiamiparisvegascabocancunhawaiilondonbeijingshanghaiseoul.

These are some things that I like and things that I do not like about travel as of this moment.


My Life at this Moment (Unfiltered)

11:41 PM. Room 732. Doubletree Hotel and Suites. Madison, Wisconsin.

Exhausting but fun week of hanging out with Dan in Houston came to an end. Today, we went to El Bolillo (aka the absolute most perfect best place in Houston, made of rainbows and magic). I will miss this place so much when I leave. Going towards the airport, we stopped for some geocaching and found 10 in a loop trail. Arrived at George Bush Intercontinental Airport (IAH) at approximately 3:30 PM. Parked at Parking Spot in BF 292. My flight had a major delay so I got switched and put on another flight that left on time. That was cool of them. We said goodbye in the Einstein Bros. Bagels in the C terminal. Dan can be annoying sometimes but overall he is one of my best friends, and he gave me a very warm hug and some nice platitudes among leaving (his flight to Boston was in E terminal).

On the plane, I sat next to a nice older lady with Crohn’s disease. Her name was Sharon and she came from Alamogordo, New Mexico. She was on her way to her granddaughter’s high school graduation in Green Bay, Wisconsin. She also hadn’t flown in several years so she was slightly clueless. Looking back, she was probably completely clueless. It actually made the flight very nice and fun, and we shared Bolillo goodies.

Arrived in O’Hare with not much time to spare. Hightailed it over to E Terminal only to discover that the flight before mine, to Ottawa, was just boarding, so I bought myself a little time. Marveled at the tiny finger sandwiches being sold for $6.95 each. Boarded late, last seat on the flight, circled around Madison in the rain before making a landing at almost 11 PM.

Dad picked me up at the airport and drove me to the hotel where I am now. I gave him a Father’s Day card and he enjoyed it. Now he is bundling up for bed like he always does. I don’t understand how he doesn’t suffocate under all those layers. They have the MLB Network here so I know what he’ll be doing most of the weekend.

Now it’s 11:52 PM. Pretty exhausted, but in that way where the words just flow out smooth like butter. Flamingo. Flamenco. 

Moral of the story: I love traveling. Even when I hate it and it sucks, I love traveling. More on this topic soon.