11

Ask Me Anything, Part 1

I’ve been feeling super stressed and uninspired lately, so inspire me by asking me a question in the comments section. 

Whatever you want. Whatever’s on your mind. Whatever you want to know about me.

What are you waiting for?

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0

Silver Notes on the Guitar

Yeah, no idea what to write.

I’ve had this weird feeling lately, really ever since my birthday, that something strange is about to happen. I don’t know if it’s political, or personal, or maybe fall in the air, but something is just pushing me in a weird direction. Falling asleep late at night, waking up in the morning, zombie until afternoon, frenetic until late at night, repeat.

At least I’ve been dancing nearly every day of my 30th year so far.

5

Staying In and Getting Real: Current Events Roundup, Part Two

Oh, man.

It’s been a few days since the insanely horrific shooting in Las Vegas. 59 people are dead (including the shooter, who did happen to be a member of the human race) and 500 are injured. There has already been so much said about it, and even though I’m not a super political person in any way, I just felt like I needed to share some thoughts.

Unlike Harvey, Irma, Jose, and Maria, this tragedy was 100% preventable. If you didn’t believe in gun control before October 1, I hope that you’ve reconsidered your position. It’s not like getting into a fistfight; 59 people are gone. 59 people will never come back. 59 people didn’t think that their last day would be spent at a crowded country music concert in Sin City.

People kill people AND guns kill people.

1

All About That Bath

Nope, not a post about Meghan Trainor, but about the fact that I finally live in a home with a bathtub after 4 years, and tonight I used it for the first time.

This might not be the most scintillating info ever, but I think it deserves to be recorded for posterity.

  • Start to fill the bathtub with hot water.
  • Go to the next room and pick out clothes.
  • Go into the bathroom, and realize that the water is scalding hot.
  • Let out some water, and put in cold water.
  • Stir thoroughly.
  • Put in Dusty Rose bath bomb.
  • Turn on Seth Meyers.
  • Wonder why bath bomb isn’t working. Realize it’s still wrapped in plastic.
  • Retrieve a pencil and poke holes in bath bomb so that it starts to fizz.
  • Realize that you’re not getting clean, and remember to soap and shampoo up.
  • Fiddle with YouTube and computer screen until the hot water merely becomes tepid.
  • Wash yourself, realizing that you were going to have some wine and cookies but totally forgot.
  • Let out the water, get out of the tub, and dry off, wiping off mostly sweat.
  • Despite the constant getting up and sitting down again, tell yourself it was worth it.
4

Holidays That Should Exist

It seems like my blog is turning into a weekly blog rather than a daily blog. Yikes.

Also, I’ve been saying “yikes” a lot for no real reason. Rather than a life update like my last few posts, (all of one in September and four in August, yikes) here’s a real random thoughts post, so get ready for that warm fuzzy feeling.

I’m always having ideas, and today, I just thought of all the things that we have in life that we don’t dedicate a day to. These are either types of people, things, or activities. Let’s you and me take a little walk through my brain and imagine a world where these things are possible:

National Drag Queen Day. Everyone must dress like a drag queen and no one who does (or does not) can be judged. And yes, I know that Halloween is kind of like this – also Gay Pride is kind of like this – but on this day, either you’re a drag queen, or you’re not. No sexy cats, no robots, no half-naked people just in garbage bags. Full drag. COMMIT. That includes having a drag name for the day.

National Go To Therapy Day. I have been to enough types of therapy to know what it’s like (excluding physical therapy) and that people who have either never been or refuse to go to therapy…need to. On this day, there will be no such thing as a need for health insurance because all therapy will be free. Any type will do, but you have to go, you have to pay attention, and if you roll your eyes or look at your phone, you have to do an extra session. If you refuse to go, you have to spend the day in a psych ward. Have you ever met someone who just needs therapy, but you can’t tell them? With this holiday, it’s mandatory, so call up your doctor, I’m-so-normal-and-you’re-not Carol, because the time has come.

National Lampoon Day. You must watch a movie with Chevy Chase in it. Simple as that.

National Bathing Day, or Wash Yourself Week. Seriously. I was walking down the street, and a girl was sitting on a bench with her shoes off, feet up, and her looked like moldy potatoes. I almost puked in my mouth. We need a day where everyone either bathes willingly or gets a bucket of hot soapy water (not soupy water, like I just typed) dumped on their head, West Side Story style.

National Talk Like An Italian Day. National Talk Like a Pirate Day, hit the deck, because once I institute NTLAID, you can say just about anything and it sounds mildly gangster. Or gangsta, if that’s your thing.

National Fart On Someone You Don’t Like Day. Kind of self-explanatory, and I feel like some people do this anyway in their daily lives, but there are some people out there that really need to be farted on. Just once. Bonus points if you cause them to puke and/or poop. Apparently I’m also eight years old.

National Learn A New Dance Move Day. “But I don’t dance.” Yes you do, Tricia, be thankful you HAVE LEGS and USE THEM. On this day, you will have to either attend a dance class or master an actual dance move that requires some level of skill. So no two stepping, macarena, jump around, or disco fingers. If you like dancing, then learn however many new dance moves and styles you want.

National No Clocks Day. Everything is spontaneous, just like in caveman times, or 2017 in some parts of Brazil and Papua New Guinea. Wait…how will we know when it’s over?

Image result for madonna holiday gif

 

0

Open, Open Damned Bag

It’s been a long week so far, and I haven’t been too inspired to write…well, much of anything. I don’t really know why. But I need to be writing more, in general, so I thought I’d just let out what’s on my mind today.

I feel like I may have written about this before, so apologies if this sounds familiar.

Both yesterday and today, I bought something that came in one of those Zip-Loc pouches that you have to cut or tear before you can easily pop open. Or, I mean, “easily.” Both times, I cut/tore the plastic, only to not be able to get into the bag. One I eventually pried open with my nails, but for the other one I actually had to go in with scissors and make an incision, which meant I had to eat the whole thing because it didn’t really close all the way. Is there a more annoying sensation than wanting to get into a bag that’s designed to be easy to open, and having to resort to near violence to get at the treats inside? What did we do in a past life to deserve this? I mean, if the bag is designed to be easy to open, actually make it easy to open. Or tell us to cut it open.

Anyway. I ended up getting to enjoy the snacks eventually.

How are you doing?